you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize