she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
if only i could text you this smell
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
