Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
