At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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