I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
