what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
