Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
