I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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