If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
