I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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