If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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