We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize