is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
