Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
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After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
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no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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