First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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