Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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