You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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