Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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