there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
