she woke up with a sticky ear
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
