She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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