it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
