seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
