Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
