She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
