Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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