glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize