You really coming over, don't trick.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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