Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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