Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
