He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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