so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's blow job season.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
