forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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