Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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