we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize