That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize