Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
