a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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