I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
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We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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