can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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