doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
