you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize