And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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