Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
