That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
