Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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