I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
