this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
