Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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