So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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