Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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