Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
