Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
