Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
