Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
