i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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