are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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