She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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